Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Things I Can't Say

It's New Year's Eve.  I may as well put all the fear in my head in writing and let it go it's own way in to the ether.

  • I'm scared.  So scared.  Not always, but when I think too much, when I've had a bad day, when I'm too tired, there it is.
  • Why would you want me?
  • I'm so scared this is all a lie.
  • I feel like this is all my fault. 
  • I'm not pretty.  When you tell me I am, I wonder why you feel like you have to lie to me.
  • I'm not a good person.
  • I don't know if I'll ever trust anyone again if this goes wrong.
  • I should run.  Far, and fast, and away from where I can be hurt.
  • I feel like I need someone as a back up, for when you realize you were insane to ever love me, so I can be safe.
Now go away bad things.  I have a life to live.